The need to make

I don't make things because I want to make, I make things because I need to make.

I recently moved across the country from Maine to Montana. I left my supplies and inventory for my online shop, www.ontheround.etsy.com, with my sister (and then ended up with my mother) to be mailed to me once my family and I found a place to live. So we found a place to live, and a week went by. And then another week went by...and I still hadn't received my things (I blame the universe, but my mother says ups is just slow).

I left a job in Maine that required me to make things as fast as I could all day, four days a week. Then in my spare time I made more things, either for my online business or for myself or maybe even someone I love. Basically my life involved mother duties, gf duties, daughter/sister duties, cleaning, a couple minutes of personal grooming, and making things. That’s it.

And then I left and three weeks past without making anything. The first week was travel, the second week was finding a place to live and exploring, and the third week was spent like this:

Pacing,
ranting,
compulsively checking various business, social, and email sites online,
protesting in a Martha Stewart living futon box,
protesting in the bath tub,
protesting in various national parks in the vicinity of Butte, MT,
begging,
crying,
praying,
hoping,
wishing,
dreaming.

I basically lost my mind for at least 48 hours. I couldn't make anything. I didn't have anything to make. I even reached the ultra low, low of going to Joanne fabric to purchase some acrylic yarn for a dress and some leg warmers (what???!?!?! so random). And there may have been some purchases that haven't shown up yet (another cruel and unusual joke from the universe).

From this experience, I've learned that I need to make things. Some how making things gives me order and control in a world where there is none. Making things makes me feel like I belong, and without it I'm a strange outsider. Making things makes me feel like I have a place in this world. I love making things. God help us all if I have to go another three weeks in my life not making things.
peace.