My Saturday's begin just like every other day. I wake up with the baby somewhere between 5:30-6:30, we lay in bed and nurse or snooze for a little bit. Then we get up out of bed and meet up with the big girl. Breakfast is always at 7 and I go out and milk the goats while the kids eat. There is usually coffee and some internet time somewhere in there.
On weekdays, I finish getting Taylor ready, pack her lunch, load the kids in the car and take T to school. Then I come home, nurse the baby, put her back to bed, make myself food, vacuum and get to work.
This is my schedule everyday. I like it.
Then comes Saturday.
By 9 am my husband has begun doing his errands and is in and out getting stuff done. The big girl is tooting around non stop eating, asking a million questions, and doing all kinds of random things. I usually ask her to get dressed no less than one million times. The baby, may or may not nap. There are a lot of noises and things happening. I try and be lazy, lounge around, maybe spin and try and ignore everyone. I might possibly get some Facebook time in, but that's never enjoyable because the rest of the world doesn't seem to post so early in the morning.
By 9:15 I'm losing my mind, have had way too much coffee, and am usually starving since I spent all my time feeding everyone else but forgetting to feed myself.
I then proceed to have a giant grown woman tantrum. It's ugly. I am completely lost and my husband is confused and most likely irritated by my emotional state.
The day starts like every other day- but it's not, it's Saturday.
Today, mid melt down, it has occurred to me why Saturday's are so uncomfortable for me. Its no one fault and it really can't be helped- it is entirely a result of working from home. Most people wake up on Saturday's feeling good to be at home, but my home is my office. There is no distinction for me. When I look around I see work, constantly reminded by what needs to be done, but it's not a work day.
Sunday's are fine because by the end of Saturday I've relaxed and started to enjoy the day and my family. My mind is not confused on Sundays, it knows what to do.
This is quite the break through for me- finally I have figured out why I melt down every single Saturday. Can I fix it? Avoid the melt down?
I doubt it.
Because EVERY morning the kids wake up at the same time, the goat needs to be milked, everyone needs to be fed and there's probably going to be coffee and some internet.
At least now I know why I'm having a melt down.